Bbq later on. Arent very happy now. Jus feel like stoning all the way. but nah, its bbq later, and the host gotta be smiling not glumming.

These few days seemed heaven, seemed hell. God believes that afterall, edd's the ideal guy to represent singlehood. It was so many dilema, so many unsures, so many uncertainties. So many grey areas, neither white nor black. And it makes me both happy and sad. Do i deserve this? After so many years of being tied down by someone, and when i'm finally getting over it, here comes yet another one to tie me down. Disappointments and let downs over and and over again. Am i a bloody flirt my previous life? Couldnt there be jus some girl on earth whom i can fall for, and yet at the same time, everything turns out jus fine? Why do I always have to fret over relationships? Worry about this worry about that.. Its making me abnormal.. Why is it possible for any Tom Dick and Harry to be attached without worries, and Edd has to crack his brain and break his heart a million times over it. When is this gonna stop? Never? Dont i deserve someone after all the efforts and devotions put in all these years?

Time i guess.. We'll jus have to wait and wait and wait till one comes along or something happens. Nothing could be done, no matter how pro active you are, how much you give in, how nice you will be, it all boils down to the 2 words, time and wait. I'm so so associated with them. fcuk.